Alumni Information & Resources

123Before Proceeding to the Incident Form we want to make sure what you are reporting constitutes bullying.

Positive Teasing

Children tease because it can be a fun way to provoke a reaction in someone else, and they may want to reciprocate being teased themselves. Teasing can strengthen a relationship by showing closeness and affection with another person. It can help show others what behaviours are appropriate in society: for example, teasing someone for talking with his/her mouth full communicates ? without direct confrontation - that this is not a polite and socially accepted behaviour. Teasing also represents an indirect and non-threatening (perhaps even playful) method for resolving conflicts by providing an outlet for expressing frustration or disapproval.

Teasing is positive when:

• It takes place within a strong relationship with two people who appreciate the teasing as affectionate.
• The teaser is using a ?joking? (rather than aggressive) tone of voice and smiling.
• The person being teased does not look distressed.

When Does Teasing Become Bullying?

While teasing can be used to strengthen a relationship, it can also be used to alienate, criticize, and embarrass another person, which may weaken the relationship. The affectionate interaction of teasing can turn hostile when the person being teased is distressed by the teasing. Teasing about physical appearance is almost always hostile and hurtful. This is not surprising since appearance has so much influence on social acceptance and is out of the individual?s control.

Teasing becomes bullying when:

• The content of the teasing turns from affectionate to hostile.
• There is a power imbalance: the person teasing has more power among peers compared to the person being teased.
• The teasing occurs repeatedly.
• The child who is teasing means to upset or hurt the child being teased.
• The child being teased is upset or hurt by the interaction. Keep in mind that some children, boys especially, may not show that their feelings are hurt. If you are not sure whether the teasing is hurtful, pull the child being teased aside to ask them how they feel about it.