Guidance: Conflict Resolution
Our PEER MEDIATION Program is up and running for 4th - 8th graders. It is facilitated with assistance from our S.A.V.E. teacher Mr. Crispi and the Support Services Team. The goal of Peer Mediation is to train students to assist other students in solving interpersonal problems. We are responsible for: selecting students to be mediators, provide training to all new and returning mediators, and supervising mediations as they are performed throughout the school year. Students can obtain peer mediation request forms from the guidance suite, their classroom teacher, counselor, or Mrs. Keltai.
There are two important conflict resolution concepts that you can share with your child(ren):
“I Message” and “Win/Win” Steps
An "I Message” is used to tell someone how you feel about something they have done. However, it can certainly be used when you are happy about something as well. Just because an "I feel" message is used, it does not mean that they will get their way, but at least they have told the person how they feel.<
Below are the steps to building an "I feel" message:
Building an "I feel" Message
I feel ______ (explain how it made you feel using a feeling word)
when ______. (tell the person exactly what they did)
I want ______. (say what you want from them)
"I feel mad when you don't listen to me. I want you to listen to me when I'm talking to you."
"I feel sad when you call me names. Please stop calling me names."
"Win/Win" Steps This is a five-step procedure that is used to resolve the conflict. It is called "win-win" because if those involved in the conflict follow the steps & are satisfied with the result, they both "win".
Below are the steps to "Win/Win" conflict resolution:
The Five "Win/Win" Steps
1. Cool down - this is an opportunity for those involved in the conflict to take a break and get their thoughts together.
2. I feel... - one person starts to explain their side of the story using an “I-message”.
3. You feel... - the person who was listening paraphrases what was said to him/her.
**Steps #2 and #3 are done twice so that each person gets an opportunity to explain his or her side of the conflict.**<
4. Brainstorm - those involved come up with ideas to help solve the problem.
5. Shake hands, high five, thumbs up, etc... - this is the ending step which is important to those involved know that they are done, it's over, and things are okay.